Somebody has to speak up about this. If we don’t cast some light on the lies that these “National Treasures” have been spreading, they’ll just keep getting away with it. We have to think of the children.

1. Anne Murray does not want to sing me a love song. Trust me.
2. Sarah McLachlan will not be the one to hold me down and kiss me so hard. She’ll actually ask the management to have me removed if it is even suggested.
3. The Bare Naked Ladies do not once mention coke or hookers in “If I Had a Million Dollars”.
4. Joni Mitchell never opened a tree museum. If she ever gets around to it I bet her admission will be higher than she claims, too.
5. Everybody does not know that that’s how it goes, Leonard.
6. Alanis Morrisette does not know what irony is, ironically. Also, it is often too hot and very often too cold.
7. Nelly Furtado is nothing like a bird and she has never flown away.
8. Stan Rogers was never one of Barrett’s privateers. He made the whole damn thing up.
9. The man in the moon is not a newfie. To say that the idea is goofy is putting it mildly (I have even begun to suspect that there is no man in the moon at all).
10. Paul Anka did not do it his way.
11. I can’t make out most of what Celine Dion says but I’m sure it’s all lies.
12. Shania Twain is impressed very easily.
13. The Tragically Hip are not only liars but they are also panic mongers. New Orleans was not sinking at the time that they claimed it was. They were off by a good fifteen years.
14. Randy Bachman does not take sugar in his coffee.
15. Nickelback claims to be a rock band.